I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
