also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
