I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
