Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
