"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
