It's like God shit irony all over that family
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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