I think my vagina is haunted
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
