if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i love accidental penises.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
