TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
