If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize