Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
