i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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