Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
did i just pee glitter
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
