she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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