you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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