so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
