Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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(937): View more from Ohio

you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.

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(310): View more from California

I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

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(847): View more from Illinois

just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

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(914): View more from New York

I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.

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(607): View more from New York

Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!

(315): View more from New York

I get naked cuz your not there

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(+61): View more from Australia

We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime

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(310): View more from California

It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.

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