awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
