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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.

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• (607): View more from New York

  you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Well... this vagina won't eat itself

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina

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• (858): View more from California

  Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.

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• (858): View more from California

  I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning

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• (415): View more from California

  Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird

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