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she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
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