The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore