She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.