brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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