I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
