is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
