she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
