I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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