She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
