Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
