I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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