dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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