The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
