She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
