my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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