I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
