so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
