OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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