My sheets look like a crime scene.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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