just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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