I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
