Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
