I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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