I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
