epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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