and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize