the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
