girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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