Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
