it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
