she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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