i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Mom said you looked used
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
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Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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