I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
