We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
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onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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