i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
