in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
