I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
