Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
