I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize