Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize