i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
babies were throwing up all over the place
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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