I have demons in me.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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