yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
