My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
