If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
