I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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