it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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