I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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